She Respects Her Husband

Depending on the season of marriage, a woman’s emotions can range from delight to destructive tsunami heights when the topic of respecting her husband is addressed. In Ephesians 5:33, the Amplified Bible gives a clear picture of that respect: “…let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband – that she notices him, honors him, prefers him, …esteems him, and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly.”

Does this define the respect level you have for your husband? If you are shaking your head, “no,” you are not alone. Or perhaps you read the list and see yourself growing in respect for your husband, then guard your heart and keep growing! I have learned that showing respect for my husband is not an option, but a clear directive from the Lord. One that I choose to obey or disobey.

Two Sinful People

So why is respect such a point of contention among wives? Because marriage consists of two sinful people. When our husbands won’t lead, make poor decisions or hurt us, our natural inclination is to withdraw respect. Our sinful nature wants to strike back and exert superiority- showing up quickly in our speech, countenance, and actions towards them.

The Wake of Disrespect

This conduct not only brings harm to our spouses, but to ourselves and those closest. A belittling comment, a rolling of the eyes, or a refusal to listen are all invitations for division in the home. While we are not responsible for our husband’s actions, we can influence them to sin. They may retaliate with anger, feel shame and/or inadequacy as a consequence of our conduct. Prov. 12:4.

Sadly, the wake of disrespect can easily overtake our children, too. Intentional or not, our example can lead our young ones to carry a lack of respect for their father. We may soon see them mimic our own cutting speech and uncaring conduct in the home.

But ultimately, our biggest concern should be that our sinful behavior mars the character of Christ. When I have been short, irritated or impatient in response to my husband, I was no where near resembling Christ. In all our responses to our men, we are called to relate in a way that reflects Jesus.Col. 3:18

Growing in Respect

So how can we avoid being pulled away by the strong undertow of disrespect? By first acknowledging this is a command, not a choice. Our husbands don’t need to earn it, we give it because the Lord commands it. And for some of us, this seems an impossible task, even painful.

Let me encourage you with this: “As for God-His way is perfect.” Ps. 18:30. When I have felt it was impossible to obey the Lord in my marriage, it has been through accountability, prayer and His word that corrected any doubtful, hesitant thinking. Saturating our minds with truth buoys up hope and provides a clear picture of Christ. We need to celebrate everyday that we are no longer slaves to sin, but have been given the power to obey. Rom. 6:18.

Know that it is possible to respect your husband and continually grow in it. No matter where you are in the married life: newly married, chasing toddlers, teenagers, or as an empty nester, the Lord is right there with you. He has given you everything necessary to live a godly life. One that brings Him much glory as you commit to respect your husband.