Valuable Lessons Learned From Anne Ortlund

No other person has had a greater influence on Charlie and I as a ministry couple than Anne Ortlund. The Lord brought her into our life at a pivotal time when we were needing guidance, encouragement and wisdom. Looking back now, and every other time I have reflected, it’s always with affection and gratefulness. She was an extraordinary woman who joyfully lived for Jesus as a pastor’s wife, ministry leader, mom and disciple maker.

I still remember walking into her home in Newport Beach, and having no idea what we were in for. I knew only that we would be spending a weekend with her discussing God, ourselves, and the purpose we believed He had for us as a couple. At 84 years old, she overwhelmed Charlie and I with her contagious laugh and passion for life. She was a woman who loved Christ deeply. A widow now, she continued to faithfully use those last years of her life to invest in married couples and women through discipleship.

Wisdom on Marriage, Life, and Following Christ

Here are just four of the lessons we learned from our time with Anne:

Connect those railroad tracks. Both husband and wife can faithfully serve, both work on noble things, both move in the same direction, both have eyes on a common goal but there’s an underlying danger of becoming like two railroad tracks that never connect. She reminded us of the importance to set aside time to intentionally connect. Plan it. Put it in the calendar. Have other couples hold you accountable. “Safeguard your oneness.” It’s quite easy to work on building a ministry, family or life and fail to build your own marriage. She understood this and encouraged us to make time with one another a priority. Genesis 2:24
Your greatest support is one another. Anne, having been a pastor’s wife herself, knew all too well the joy and beauty, as well as the complexities and hardships of ministry. She took the time to remind us that as a couple, we were each other’s greatest support. And this is true for all marriages. No one will understand you more, or be there for you like your spouse. It’s the blessing and design of a Christ-centered marriage. She took the opportunity one day to solidify this truth by having us renew our vows to one another, right there on her living room couch. It’s probably one of the sweetest memories we have with her. No fanfare or audience. Just Anne watching a husband and wife exchange vows with one another. She gave us a memory and visual point of a renewed commitment to each other that day. One in which we still look back and hold onto. Ecclesiastes 4:9
Elevators are for kissing. If you have read any of Anne’s books, I’m sure you will have heard how this was a goal for her and her husband, Ray. Whenever they found themselves alone in an elevator, they never passed up the time to use it for kissing. Her point to us: don’t let the fun fade away in your marriage! To this day, Charlie and I have stolen kisses in elevators when we have found ourselves alone in them. Learning to laugh and enjoy one another’s company needs to be continually nurtured as a couple. The bible teaches us that a “joyful heart is good medicine,” so how much more can it do for our marriages when exercised! Proverbs 17:22
Aim for the bulls-eye. Some decisions are simple and easy, others extremely complicated. She counseled us to keep the purpose of God’s calling at the center, along with His word, wise counsel and prayer. She gave us an illustration of shooting at a target with a bulls-eye. The bulls-eye represented where we believed the Lord was calling us. All of our decisions should be made with that calling in mind. Is what we are deciding leading us closer to that purpose? Or away? Everyone goes through seasons of discouragement and doubt, so going back to what we last remember God calling us to, is helpful for steadying our footing when the path gets a little rocky along the way. Job 42:2

There’s so much of Anne’s life that has left a lasting mark on me personally, as a woman. She embodied what she believed. And she faithfully and joyfully served Christ until the very end. When I think of Anne, I get tears in my eyes. I see God’s grace in allowing our lives to intersect. She saw Charlie and I as being faithful stewards of the seed she sowed into our lives. 2 Timothy 2:2 Her example makes me want to do the same for Jesus. I’ve listed a few books of Anne’s below. If you haven’t read any, I cannot express how much you will be blessed! She is an excellent source for biblical truth and guidance on the path of biblical womanhood and disciple making.